Hi again, J Apple Muncy! Thanks for acknowledging my civility efforts. I tend to go on the assumption that a healthy debate is possible until proven otherwise.
Your contribution is food for thought, so thank you for taking the time to explain. However I doubt we’re on the same page here: What men in my age cohort think or feel about me choosing an older partner is irrelevant to me. I’ll go one further: I don’t care because I don’t owe them — or anyone else — anything, certainly not my attention, much less any attempt to “spare” their feelings.
I look at fellow humans as humans, it doesn’t matter one jot what age, national origin, gender, creed, sexual orientation etc they might be. Love is love, and you don’t tend to choose who you fall in love with. That my first husband happened to be 9 years my senior is just one of those things. Your bio says you’re a retired pro-feminist, so I took it to mean that you’re a staunch believer in — and defender of — equality. I certainly am too (not the retired part though, not yet).
I have zero opinion on partners of different ages either. So long as everyone is fulfilled, happy, thriving then it’s all good. The only caveat with an older partner is that one of you is likely to bury the other, and that’s harrowing.
Hopefully this clarifies my position a little bit. As for men who have “resentment stored up” when women their age go off with older chaps, well, maybe if they were less immature that wouldn’t happen? Just a glib thought because, again, being woman doesn’t mean mollycoddling the male ego. That’s so unattractive too: some men might call their wife “Mother” but I can assure you that if my (second) husband ever did that, I’d be out the door faster than you can say stop.
To me, being a woman means being a human with a different set of chromosomes and different body parts (and having to spend a fortune on tampons throughout my lifetime plus undergoing the regular horror that are smear tests and mammograms) but other than that, we’re equals.
As you can probably infer, I was raised by a feminist so I grew up believing feminism was a thing and always acted accordingly.
I think we need to transcend the gender divide if we’re ever to move forward, rather than have men and women sniping at each other and erasing anyone who doesn’t identify with the binary.
People are people. It’s that simple.