Hi, Dana Baguley! Thanks for your comment and I’m glad my piece resonated with you. Progress is hard-won and not linear at all. I nearly packed it all in last weekend because I felt completely overwhelmed and crushed.
But instead of doing that, I opened my laptop and got back to work, pushing through all the crap in my head.
Letting myself down would be one thing and I’m not in a position to do this as I don’t think I’d ever get up again. Plus there won’t be anyone to pick up the pieces — I’ve always been too cash-strapped to access therapy. Besides, letting my family down when my dad needs the most help is absolutely unthinkable and not going to happen. Ever. So I have some strong motivators, and it actually helps that they’re not all about me.
Also, once I’ve earned my airfare I’ll still keep working because needs must. Thankfully my work has almost always been portable.
I wish you progress and greater ease as well. You can do it, but you need to remember to be patient with yourself. Cheer each little victory as and when it happens. xo