Sounds like there are many similarities between us, Samantha Beach.
Regarding therapy however, this is something that you need to do for you, so you can heal and function better. It’s not something you do for anyone else. In other words, you need to help yourself first and be there for you before you can help anyone else and be there for them.
When the oxygen masks drop following loss of cabin pressure on a flight, you must put yours on first before you can assist other passengers…
In the absence of therapy, it’s always possible to take care of yourself. Even just making yourself a cup of tea is a gesture of self-love. (Unless you don’t like tea, in which case substitute whatever hot beverage works for you. Hot chocolate is extra special for example, at least for me. A very rare treat.) xo