Thank you so very much for your thoughtful words, Satti.

As you remind me, the sun will have to shine… Although I always say “This too shall pass”, this isn’t the case this time. Instead, it’s like being in a washing machine that’s permanently stuck on the spin cycle function, one that doesn’t stop. It slows down, then starts again, slows down, starts again, and I yet have to get to the end.

I know the signs, alas. They’re the harbinger of much worse things to come. This being said, I’m willing myself to push through the pain, the panic, and the tears one word at a time but I’m also exhausted so I’ve no idea how long I can realistically keep going, running on empty now that there no longer is anyone to catch me when I fall. Actually, I have fallen and I’m crawling forward on elbows and knees, terrified of inertia.

This week is my stepmom’s last chemo session of this first round of treatment so I’ll be going with her and Dad. I have to remain upright for them, at least until we get this done.

Salam, my friend. 🙌💛

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I write possible・ 💌 khe@tuta.io ・ 💛 https://ko-fi.com/kittyhannaheden

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